We need to overhaul this pager system. Maybe not even the system, but definitely the pager. Yes, I've seen how bulky pagers used to be. But it's hard to believe in this technology-crazed world that we're still using these archaic, melanotic, hip-bound devices. We can video chat and face chat with people 'round the world, yet the best way we can get ahold of each other in a hospital setting is by alpha page. Really? And if we have no luck, we have to resort to operators who'll just try the same thing anyway? It's all baloney. No one wants to overhaul the sytem, for obvious reasons - resource allocation and cost of implementation, surely are the most obvious - but I think there's a fear of being more reachable. That's baloney too. I think the solution is simpler than that: Find a way to reach me in a less annoying way.
When I play with my pager's alert settings, there are a mere eleven options, ranging on a scale of one (quite annoying) to eleven (incredibly annoying). A vibrating alert is the most tolerable, but it doesn't take long to develop vibratophobia. And as for the silent alert, I think that speaks to the overall stupidity of the pager. It doesn't take long into intern year to develop a Pavlovian hatred towards the pager. Often the page is accompanied by a quick groan, roll of the eyes, or four-letter expletive, even if it isn't that busy. So why this utter hatred towards our pagers? Well, getting paged, just the act of it, is frankly, quite annoying.
A few months ago, my hip was getting numb from all the vibrating pages, so I moved it to my white coat pocket. Then I moved it to tables where I worked. But since that generated too much noise, I began placing it on sticky-note beds to dull the vibration. Then to the floor. Nurses often figured I was busy when they saw the pager on the floor next to my feet. Finally, I tried something new: forwarding my pager to a work cell phone. Though the phone calls were no less frequent than pages, and I felt more obliged to answer the phone, I found this a much more tolerable option. I couldn't figure this out for the life of me. But I'm contacted just as much. And then it hit me: the option of pleasant ring tones!
Pager alerts are mechanical buzzards and chirps, much like sirens or telemetry beeps. They seem to achieve the opposite effect: disinterest. Ring tones are, at least, less metallic and more melodic. I don't groan or curse as much when my phone rings. Is the solution as easy as creating a pager with pleasant alerts or ring tones? Perhaps. Or how about contacting us by text message instead? In fact, it's possible these days to have pages forwarded to our cell phones as text messages. (Text message bleeps are more tolerable.) I'm opposed to this really for one major reason: I don't want my private cell phone made public. But think about it. If we had work cell phones with text capability (and this doesn't have to apply only to physicians), that could open a new realm of possibilities. Maybe if we all could answer our pagers and phones in a less bitter way, communication might improve. And that's not a bad place to start.
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